I value friendship very much. It is one of the most important aspects of my life. Therefore, I try my best to be a good friend and to respect the feelings and privacy of my friends when I feel this is what they want and need. I also try not to ask for unreasonable things or put pressure on my friends to do things for me that I know are difficult or impossible for them to do. Therefore, when a friend turns out not to be the true friend I thought he or she was , my feelings are deeply hurt, and I become very disappointed in that person. There are many signs that indicate to me that this person was not a true friend and only wanted to use me for his or her own selfish purposes. Today I will share some of the things that really bother me. Some of these are also my pet peeves discussed in an earlier blog that I wrote.
These first few remarks will be referring to my international friends as you will soon see. If you are one of them and have never done one of these, please do not be offended. If you have done one of these, please read carefully because I am sure others besides me feel this way, too.
A true friend would never ask you to get him a USA visa when you indicate to him that you have no governmental power or authority to do this.
A true friend does not get angry at you when you refuse to find him a wife so that he can get an American visa. I am not a matchmaker so I will not do this. Besides he should marry for love –not to get a visa. This mentality always upsets and confuses me so much.
A true friend does not request you on Facebook and then delete you without telling you he or she is going to do this. How rude and thoughtless this is!! 
A true friend does not assume you are rich because you are an American and then ask you to send him money or computers or phones or cameras. I would never ask for anything like that from anyone—-not even my dearest friends in the world.
A true friend does not volunteer to help you without you asking for help and then not do what he promised to do. I have learned that I cannot depend upon most people now. I must only rely on my own efforts to achieve my goals.
A true friend does not get upset with you when you say you are truly busy and do not have the needed time to spend with him at that particular moment because you are working or have family obligations.
A true friend does not ask you to spend hours of your free time teaching him English online for free. I love teaching and helping young students who want to learn, and I do teach some friends online but only those people who have been good friends of mine for a long time. Usually I am the one who volunteered to help them before they asked me.
A true friend would never insult you, call you ugly names, use profanity, or use sexually explicit language. These people anger me to the extreme point that I block them forever if it is on a social network like Facebook, for example. These people are just evil in my opinion.
A true friend would never pretend to be on your side and then bad mouth you or talk about you negatively to other people behind your back. He does not start false rumors about you or make fun of you. This two-faced friend is quickly eliminated from my life. 
A true friend does not borrow something from you and then not return it. If you wanted it to be a gift, you would have given it to him.
A true friend does not lie to you about important things. He does not agree with you when he knows you are saying something that is wrong or are putting yourself or others in danger.
A true friend does not let you do self-destructive things, such drinking and driving or doing drugs.
A true friend does not leave when you are going through bad times or when you need a friend to help you or to lean on.
We all know people like the ones above who pretend to be true friends but in reality are not. Hopefully, we discover who these fake friends are before real damage is done to our hearts or to our personal lives and remove them from our lives. 
Randi D. Ward
September 10, 2013
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